WHAT WENT WRONG

AMY SAYS...

Gareth and I have become obbbbssseeessseddd with money.

Everything we seem to do or say revolves around that nasty green stuff.

Our lives are, seemingly, on permanent hold because of that crappy paper.

Our relationship is crumbling because of that shit we stick in our wallet.

We don't know how to fix it.

I know I love him.

I know he loves me.

But right now, it all seems:

CURSED

AMY SAYS....

I feel like someone has put a curse on me...

I have broken a giant mirror
I have broken a clothing stand
I came home last night to NO electricity in the pouring rain
We didn't get the apartment we loved
I was almost killed by many truck drivers cycling to work
My new computer system at work crashed and died....
I have no heat, no internet, no kitchen, no TV, no Gareth at home...

It seems like every which way I turn I should duck...

Cause recently, I aint got no luck!! :(

Will work for popcorn

GARETH SAYS...

I recently met the owner of a popcorn company in a bar while away on a business trip.

He was having a problems with a particular area.

Being a loud mouth i jumped in to help.

"Oh you could do this ... or this ... or this ..."

My suggestions went down pretty well.

We swapped cards and disappeared into the night.

One week later a massive box arrived at work.

In the box was more popcorn than i could possible eat.

6 giant bags and all of it delicious.

Thank you Doc Popcorn!!!

Odd questions

GARETH SAYS...

Living Operation Night Brace throws up many interesting questions.

Here's a classic from Sunday morning...

Amy: How much would you charge someone for sex?

Gareth: Er ... um ... $500 i guess.


Looking back on this two worrying things emerge:

1) Why was Amy thinking about this?
2) Was $500 selling myself too cheap?

There is always someone worse off than you

GARETH SAYS...

... cheer up!

No matter how gloomy things are for you there is always someone out there worse off than you and here is a website to prove it. It is soooooo addictive.

It's called FML as in 'f@£k my life' and is designed to be a place to share your every day life unfortunate moments.

It is cheaper than going to a shrink and it's good to know that no matter what happens someone in the world will be able to have a good laugh at your expense.

Here's the link

Here are some highlights...

Today, I ran for my school's elections for President. I thought I was popular enough to win. I lost, by 61 votes, my grade is only 62 people. I was the only one to vote for myself. FML

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML

Refurbished Phone

GARETH SAYS...

After my costly accident with my phone and an apple pie i had no choice but to buy a new handset this weekend.

I went along to the local AT&T store and had a look at what was on offer.

Ohhhhh how sexy the iPhones looked but they weren't cheap.

A salesman saw me drooling and came over.

I think he must have seen the state of my sneakers and said that they offered refurbished models for half the price.

Half price??? Now that's a word i love.

But hang on a minute doesn't refurbished mean - 'owned by someone else who broke it?'

The sales dude told me that the phone had been fixed by apple and was offered with a 90 day guarantee just like a brand new iPhone.

It was a no brainer.

With a quick swipe of a debit card i was the proud owner of a new(ish) iPhone.

Happy days.

Mark Twain

AMY SAYS...

I'm a dork but I have a 'love quote of the day on my phone...here's the one i got today:

"Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."

Damn!! 23.5 more years and $60,000 to go ;)