GARETH SAYS…
The inflatable bed got sent back to the manufacturer last Wednesday leaving me and Amy sleeping on the wooden floor until the replacement one arrives.
We’ve had 5 days now of flooring sleeping and they say it is good for your back. That may be the case but I’m not sure it is good for my knees, arms, feet, hands, face, neck, arse or any other part of me that can’t be described as ‘back’.
We really have sunk to a new low and the phrase ‘crack den’ now springs to mind when I walk into out little room.
Fingers crossed the bed will arrive whilst we are away on our business trips – Amy is off to Barcelona and I’m off to San Diego. Ahhhhhh the joy of hotel rooms and proper beds- or Amy is going to completely lose her shit!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
A Dutiful English Wife
GARETH SAYS...
Amy and I are very similar in many respects and completely different in others.
The differences mainly manifest themselves in two ways:
She is a Woman and I am a Man.
She is American and I am English.
I have been slowly trying to introduce her to the ‘English way’ such as my fondness for Hankies - something that amuses her mum no end :) - and my love of afternoon tea.
Two weekends ago we had a go at making scones and homemade lemon curd. Both of which were truly delicious - the scones were light and fluffy and the curd was wonderfully tart. They were so good I made Amy the certificate you see here!
But this cultural exchange isn't just one way. We made American Pancakes last Saturday and Pretzel making is on the menu for next weekend.
Cooking is so much fun and one of the added benefits is that it is cheaper than buying stuff.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
The toothfairy
GARETH SAYS...
Isabelly Button (not her real name), Amy’s neice came round on Saturday with a wobbly front tooth. With an accidental elbow in the head Aunty Amy managed to separate tooth from head.
Isabelly Button was stunned at the loss but I think deep down inside she was gratefully that she wouldn’t have to go to the dentist on Tuesday.
The tooth was bagged up and will soon be tucked under her pillow waiting to be turned into cash. When I was a kid I got around $2 for each tooth. Amy and I worked out between us that we had just under $180 worth of pearl whites between us.
On seconds thoughts, our teeth are probably worth more to us in our head than under a pillow.
Isabelly Button (not her real name), Amy’s neice came round on Saturday with a wobbly front tooth. With an accidental elbow in the head Aunty Amy managed to separate tooth from head.
Isabelly Button was stunned at the loss but I think deep down inside she was gratefully that she wouldn’t have to go to the dentist on Tuesday.
The tooth was bagged up and will soon be tucked under her pillow waiting to be turned into cash. When I was a kid I got around $2 for each tooth. Amy and I worked out between us that we had just under $180 worth of pearl whites between us.
On seconds thoughts, our teeth are probably worth more to us in our head than under a pillow.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Vaginal wash
GARETH SAYS...
One of the perks of work is getting to take home the stimulus when a project is done.
We have just been working on new soft drinks for women and the team working on it went crazy buying female health and beauty products.
Last Friday afternoon an email went out saying: “Help yourself” and the stampede started to the back table where all the goodies were laid out.
By the time I got there most of the good stuff had gone. I started picking things up for Amy.
“Errrrr I wouldn’t give Amy that Gareth …. Or that … or that!”
Being new to the female health and beauty product market I had been picking things up blindly. I had in my hands vaginal wash, anti-cellulite cream and anti aging products.
Oops.
Amy could have taken this ‘gifts’ the wrong way. “Are you saying I stink, have orange peel thighs and look haggard?”. Not the best start to a romantic Friday night in.
It might have been free but it might have also been offensive.
I put it back and found some anti-spot products instead.
I guess that means Amy can stop using toothpaste on her pimples.
One of the perks of work is getting to take home the stimulus when a project is done.
We have just been working on new soft drinks for women and the team working on it went crazy buying female health and beauty products.
Last Friday afternoon an email went out saying: “Help yourself” and the stampede started to the back table where all the goodies were laid out.
By the time I got there most of the good stuff had gone. I started picking things up for Amy.
“Errrrr I wouldn’t give Amy that Gareth …. Or that … or that!”
Being new to the female health and beauty product market I had been picking things up blindly. I had in my hands vaginal wash, anti-cellulite cream and anti aging products.
Oops.
Amy could have taken this ‘gifts’ the wrong way. “Are you saying I stink, have orange peel thighs and look haggard?”. Not the best start to a romantic Friday night in.
It might have been free but it might have also been offensive.
I put it back and found some anti-spot products instead.
I guess that means Amy can stop using toothpaste on her pimples.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
A Dip
GARETH SAYS...
We woke up this morning to a dip.
Not an emotional one but a physical one.
Our brand new replacement inflatable bed has a slow puncture.
I knew this experience would bring us closer together but this is ridiculous. We awoke to find our noses squashed together in a hammock like bed of deflated uncomforatablness.
On top of the slow puncture we have a new addition to the family. Her name is Teddy and she is Amy’s Mum’s new dog. Every morning without fail she yaps her lungs out for no reason whatsoever.
In the world of Gareth and Amy, sleep is becoming as rare as a new york cab driver who doesn’t like to us his horn.
I’m tiiiirrrreeeeed.
We woke up this morning to a dip.
Not an emotional one but a physical one.
Our brand new replacement inflatable bed has a slow puncture.
I knew this experience would bring us closer together but this is ridiculous. We awoke to find our noses squashed together in a hammock like bed of deflated uncomforatablness.
On top of the slow puncture we have a new addition to the family. Her name is Teddy and she is Amy’s Mum’s new dog. Every morning without fail she yaps her lungs out for no reason whatsoever.
In the world of Gareth and Amy, sleep is becoming as rare as a new york cab driver who doesn’t like to us his horn.
I’m tiiiirrrreeeeed.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Size matters
GARETH SAYS...
When it comes to buying things - bulk is beautiful! As I'm sure you know, the best way to get the lowest price possible is by buying as much as you can. Take Listerine for example. I just brought a massive bottle for $6 at the local CVS pharmacy. It is truly the largest bottle of mouthwash i have ever seen.
The trouble is finding the space to store it which is pretty tricky when you consider our room is 2 meters by 3 meters.
Submarine size living quarters are not conducive to bulk buying. Thank goodness i resisted the urge to buy the 24 pack of toilet rolls that were on special offer. We would have had to stuff them into our pillows.
When it comes to buying things - bulk is beautiful! As I'm sure you know, the best way to get the lowest price possible is by buying as much as you can. Take Listerine for example. I just brought a massive bottle for $6 at the local CVS pharmacy. It is truly the largest bottle of mouthwash i have ever seen.
The trouble is finding the space to store it which is pretty tricky when you consider our room is 2 meters by 3 meters.
Submarine size living quarters are not conducive to bulk buying. Thank goodness i resisted the urge to buy the 24 pack of toilet rolls that were on special offer. We would have had to stuff them into our pillows.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
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