Tuesday, September 30, 2008

This is what I do in my spare time

I make hundreds of these..they are all over my desk...all over my studio floor, I'm a psycho ;)

Monday, September 29, 2008

We are prepared

"You doing this in a credit crunch too is all the more impressive. Imagine when the whole thing crashes down at least you and amy will be able to adapt much better than most."

I guess he has a point. We will make a fortune counseling people on adjusting their lives to live on $20 a day

Yep... but what will happen to student borrowers after the Big Bail Out? With my luck they'll put a 'bankruptcy clause for student borrowers' in right at the moment we're about to pay everything off!! They pulled the last one out just before I graduated - I would have declared bankruptcy immediately if it didn't change and just about now my credit would be officially cleared - Bah Humbug!

Time for some...



Sunday, September 28, 2008



These are our differences, in black and white, cut and pasted together from famous movie quotes:

Amy: Should we let it breathe?
Gareth: It hasn't breathed for fifty years, it's dead. Let's just drink it!

Gareth: The Luck is gone, the brain is shot,
Amy: but the LOANS we still got!

Amy: I'm willing to start at the bottom.
Gareth: You're aiming too high - we're below the bottom!

Gareth: Listen, I'm sorry I called you a bitch.
Amy: Why? I am a bitch.

Gareth:I had a premoniton that I was gonna meet someone when I came down here.
Amy: You still got time, you know

Gareth:You are in training my dear.
Amy: In training for what?

Gareth: I have no regrets in life.
Amy: My regret in life is that I am not someone else ;)

Gareth:Education should be free!
Amy: Students achieving Oneness will eventually move on to Twoness.
Gareth: If they're lucky, and you my dear are very very lucky!

Saturday, September 27, 2008



Yep that's right I have a bad ass case of it. I used to take sleeping pills but they made me feel like I should be wearing a long silk robe with tigers printed on it, holding a scotch and hitting on some prepubescent boy. So my doctor recommended that I take Benadryl. It is NOT cheap...but the good news is that they supply it at work for free so every month I grab a handful and sleep like a log.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Buying your bride


I found this on line when I was searching for single rich dwarf (just kidding gareth ;)

"Indeed, most people tend to view the amount of money they spend while dating as an indicator of a long-term future together, said Catherine Surra, a professor and chair of the department of human ecology at the University of Texas who studies the development of romantic unions, including marriage. This is especially true for men, she noted.

"The data show that their commitment depends more on tangible and financial investments," Surra said. "It could be that men pay more attention to that sort of thing than women, and it could be that men are investing more than women."

Those first few months of dating are prime splurging opportunities, said the University of Washington's Schwartz. To impress their dates, men will do such things as ordering a bottle of the restaurant's most expensive wine or tipping lavishly — even if they can't afford it. Women typically respond positively to these gestures, she said. Money essentially serves as a "subterranean language" between couples that is never spoken but is understood by both people, she said.

Still, there is a limit to how much people can spend. And when they finally decide to tie the knot, men may be even happier than women. "They can't afford to date for much longer," said Schwartz."

Yep, I'd say that sounds about right ;)

It’s all in her head


The only thing we have to show for the $180,000 is what’s inside Amy’s head. That brain is pretty valuable. I’m thinking of getting her to walk round in a crash helmet to make sure it stays safe or we could just backcomb her hair to make sure it is well padded.

That brain is valuable. Of course all brains are valuable but there is only one I’m prepared to live in a cell for xxx

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Weight lifting and test taking


Gareth and I were in an argument last week, when he said, "Amy, I feel as though I'm taking a never-ending test, and just when I feel as though I've done brilliantly, I find I've scored an F."

I said, "Well, I feel like a weight lifter and when I finally get the weights in the air someone punches me in the stomach."

Weight lifting and test taking.

We have both given everything we've got, whether it be money, love, support etc.

According to our records we have survived:

- Living with my mother
- Living on an air mattress for 5 months
- Having absolutely no money
- Living in a room you can barely get in and out of
- Paying just under $90K
- Saying 'no' to almost every costly event in nyc

So why do we both feel like we're failing?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'd run in the other direction


Someone once told me (WELL MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID) that if they found out that their 'girlfriend/boyfriend' owed $180K in debt of any kind, they'd break up immediately and run the other way.

To which Gareth said, "Well, we all know what I did.'

That makes him a prince.

But what does that make me?

I have now been equated to:

a) a heavy drug user
b) a wife who racked up her credit card bills while her husband slaved away at two jobs
c) a ding-dong damsel in de-stress

I assure you I am none of the above ;)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A loan, a gift or something else?


The $33,500 I gave Amy a few months ago has a tendency to rear it’s head every now and then mainly because we haven’t agreed what it is. It all happened in a bit of a whirl. A check was written, a check was cashed.

Is it a loan to be repaid? Is it a gift?

Amy hates ‘owing’ me so I came up with a solution…

It’s an investment – not just in us but in Amy’s art. I have asked Amy to sell me $33,500 of her art. No more ‘owing’ – it is a straight forward business transaction! I like the idea of becoming the biggest collect of the wonderfully talented Amy Globus.

Some people thought I was crazy handing over the check - but who knows, it might just be the best investment I’ve ever made!!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008



Last night we went out to dinner with our friends Michael and Jennifer. We started discussing our blog. I was looking through the early entries today and well, because life and love have been a little rocky lately, I started to re-read the earliest entries...then the entries from a few months ago...

I remembered how I felt when I met Gareth.

I remembered how I felt when ONB began.

I remembered how I felt when OBN was extended.

...and although things between us seem unstable and rocky right now I realized that I feel closer to him then ever before.

I realized that even though my love goggles grew strangely hazy, I love him more today then ever before.

I realized that during every hardship we've encountered, we have truly held each others hands, become best friends, and have jumped through hoops of fire, for each other and together.

Awe shucks ;)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

6 and a half weeks


Nope NOT 9 1/2 weeks, but in 6 1/2 weeks we will have paid off the INTEREST on the Public loans - then we get to pay off the principal.

Current Principal Balance: $87,379.22
Current Payoff Amount: $99,999.92

Friday, September 19, 2008

Free pens!!!


When the waiter gives you a pen...AMY SAYS...you should take it?

An expensive mistake


Last night I asked a waiter for a café au lait ($3.50) and ended up with a crème brulee ($9).

I figured it must be my accent and - being English - didn’t say a word and just sat there eating my unwanted dessert.

Love can hurt — your bank account


The first date is just the start of what may turn out to be the largest spending spree of your life. With the average courtship before a marriage lasting about two and a half years, dating is an increasingly expensive venture. Flowers, presents, dinners, and movie tickets are just the start of the list of items single men need to factor into their budgets, dating and relationship experts said. And don't even get us started on the costs of maintaining a long-distance romance.

By the time you head down the aisle, you can easily have spent more than $40,000 on vacations, jewelry, wedding expenses, and meals out, according to our calculations.

In extreme cases, some people are so intimidated by the cost of dating that they avoid it, said Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington who also serves as an adviser to the dating Web site Perfectmatch.com. "I've had men say to me, 'I just don't want to get into a relationship because it's going to cost me a tennis bracelet,'" Schwartz said. "But I don't think most people think about it. They feel true love is worth what it cost to get there."

Return of the cigs


After two months off the nicotine wagon Amy has fallen back on it. Bugger.

But all credit to Amy she is smoking significantly less than she used to - between 1 and 4 a day down from 20+

I'm still keen for that to be 0 but for now 1- 4 is pretty awesome. As a non-smoker i find it hard to understand why anyone would smoke. It takes everything and gives you nothing.

I want to grow old with Amy and spend as much time with her as possible. There is truck loads of information about how smoking significantly reduces the chances of this happening. That's why i want her to stop.


Thursday, September 18, 2008





I didn't spend the money on stupid fucking clothes -- I WENT TO SCHOOL!!!! We need a MIRACLE!!!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The ring

Here is a bit of a belated update on the proposal and the ring. Back in December (yep i decided i wanted to marry her that long ago) I found a jeweler in New York who helped you make your own engagement ring. Perfect i thought. As Amy is an artist i thought i'd arrange for her to make her own ring afterall who am i to tell her what the engagement ring should be like?!?! I thought it was a super plan. I got the jeweler to give me a box with some little lumps of white gold in and a precious stone. I stuck them into a blob of blu tac and presented Amy with this 'Do-It-Yourself' ring kit in the restaurant. I thought it was a great idea, Amy wasn't so sure....

Gareth's idea for an engagement ring was very thoughtful. But, I know that if I made my own ring, I would think of myself every time I looked at it. I'd wonder if I had done a good job or not, if I should have made it differently etc... Ultimately, I would NOT be thinking about Gareth and I've always wanted an engagement ring, not necessarily an expensive one, but one that every time I looked at it, I would smile and think of my future husband - not question my jewlery making skills.

So we've decided to make each others wedding bands - super sweet!

So that is why Amy is currently wearing a $20 engagement ring from the market! Not the one in the picture! She wanted it but it didn't come in her size.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008



Yesterday I found myself walking into Sleepy's. My back was incredibly sore. I've been on a couch for 5 months and then on an air mattress for 5 months - I walked in and priced out a double bed with a pillow top. I sat on the bed and the sales woman said, "Go ahead, put your feet up." I looked at her with a crooked smile and hoisted my feet up on the bed. Oh my god it was so comfortable! My back sank in and I asked the woman, "Do you think sleeping on an air mattress for 5 months can hurt your back?"

She replied with a look of pity, "I can give you a deal on this full, I'll take off $50!"

"Ok, but I have to talk it over with my fiance."

I walked out in a hazy daze, day dreaming of the moment we would again lie down together on a real bed.

Maybe during ONB I can just take power naps at Sleepy's, after all their slogan is "We take good care of you" ;)

Monday, September 15, 2008

We are not alone...


I just found hundreds of student debt stories on the Student Loan Justice website - it makes for depressing reading.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Student Restaurant

We have found an interesting restaurant that we might go and splurge on one night. It’s a chef school where the students have to cater for paying guests each Friday. The menu is a set 4 courses and dead cheap - $36. But the best bit of all is the fact that it is BYOB!!!

If you are ever in new york you might want to book a table for yourselves.

Here's the menu for September 16th

Mushroom and Roasted Fennel Soup
Roasted Beets, Baby arugula, Toasted walnuts, and Balsamic Vinaigrette Salad
Lemon-Thyme Tofu, Sauteed Brocoli Rabe with Garlic, Rosemary Quinoa with Grilled Eggplant and
Kalamata Olives, Carmelized Onion Sauce
Apple Cake, Cinnamon Ice Cream, Caramel Sauce, Maple-Pecan Tuille

Whilst searching for this restaurant i stumbled across the this interesting article about student chefs having their dreams crushed by student debt...

"In the way that the work of directors like Martin Scorsese flooded film schools with students in the 1970s, and the television show “L.A. Law” packed law schools in the 1980s, the rise of celebrity chefs has been good for culinary schools. But would-be top chefs face a challenge that most lawyers, engineers or nurses do not: few jobs in their chosen field pay enough for them to retire their student loans."

Read more of the article here.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

"Don't mention ze debt"


A friend of mine said that he wouldn't go round telling people about Operation Night Brace. He thinks they'll form a bad opinion of me. He said it was like a 'drug problem' and is better not shared with people. It's unprofessional.

I'm not exactly sure how i feel about this advice. I know that debt comes with a stigma but i don't think it is up their with a chronic drug habit. I also think there are different types of debt...

Amy run up a debt of $180,000 shopping and going on holidays around the world

Amy ran up the debt putting herself through 3 colleges which are the US equivalent of going to Cambridge then Oxford then the Royal College Of Art because her parents couldn't help her.

Hardly a drug problem i think you'll agree!

I'm proud of my poor but smart fiancée xxxx

Friday, September 12, 2008



Yup I'm the sums lady...

Gareth and I made our first ever payment on the Public loans today. We paid a total of $2,983.12..That brings us to $104,100.00

STILL 8 F***ing numbers!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Making good things last


Just before ONB started my friend Chris came and stayed for a bit. One of the 'thanks for letting me stay' gifts he brought me was some Molton Brown Shower Gel. I have been using it everyday since then. The smallest squirt everytime i jump in the shower. It's just about to run out. That's almost 6 months worth i got out of it by using it sparingly. And no i don't stink! It's about using just enough.

Thanks Chris x

Wednesday, September 10, 2008



1. Drowning is death as caused by suffocation when a liquid causes interruption of the body's absorption of oxygen from the air leading to asphyxia. The primary cause of death is hypoxia and acidosis leading to cardiac arrest.

2. Near drowning is the survival of a drowning event involving unconsciousness or water inhalation and can lead to serious secondary complications, including death, after the event. Cases of near drowning are often given attention by medical professionals.

3. Secondary drowning is death due to chemical or biological changes in the lungs after a near drowning incident.

I'm not sure which one I qualify for, but I am definitely sinking under the pressure of it all - however Wikipedia doesn't include that definition.

I've given up therapy for a month to save $$

I'm not sleeping and have given up on seeing a sleep therapist because they cost $350 for the initial meeting

I've taken on about a million more responsibilities to insure a greater pay raise in December

Gareth and I have taken on about 6-8 private projects each

I can't prioritize for shit - everything is important to me and so


Oh and I have NO idea...also from Wikipedia 'Victims are more likely to be male, young or adolescent, or black.[1]'

The Kingdom Of Saudi Arabia


There might be an opportunity to work in KSA next year to help make their government more creative! That's quite some project.

I just watched the Kingdom with Jamie Foxx and all i'll say is - BLIMEY! IT'S A BIT BLOOMING DANGEROUS OUT THERE.

As an incentive work are offering us a 50% increase in pay and all our income would be tax free. Hmmmm tempting tempting. Operation Night Brace could be completed in the blink of an eye and we'd end up with a nice deposit for a house.

I mentioned it to Amy and she was not happy.

I mentioned it to Mum and she was not happy.

Amy was worried that i wanted to run away from her and find someone else (without debt).

Mum was worried that i'd get blown up.

I think it would be a bit like 'Deadliest Catch' if you have ever watched that show. A big chunk of time doing something potentially dangerous for a massive cash incentive.

If i did it then Amy and I would end up apart for almost as long as we have been together and i don't think many relationships could survive that.

It was an interesting thought for a few days but ultimately not worth the sacrifices that would have to be made. But if the pay increase was 100% who knows?!?!?!?!?! ;)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Wi Free and Freecorn


Free stuff I have been making the most of...

Alamo Car Rentals have free drink and popcorn machines in their offices. When we hired a car for work recently I filled up with two hot chocolates and three bags of sweet hot fresh popcorn.

Most big hotels offer their guests free internet access in their reception areas. Rather than popping into Starbucks and paying $10 I’ve been taking advantage of the hospitality of the Marriots and Sheratons of this world. IF anyone asks what you are doing just saying your friend is staying there and you are waiting for him to finish a meeting.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Dr Phil


Yesterday afternoon I watched an episode of Dr Phil.

There was a couple on it who had separated due to money problems.

They were about $170,000 in debt ($10,000 less then we started off with) and had 2 kids.

The husband would get up for work at 5am and get home at about 10pm.

Whilst he was busy working his wife was busy getting credit cards in his name and maxing them out.

The poor guy hadn’t a clue about what was happening until they lost their home.



Gareth I went to school for my debt the only expensive thing I own are Prada shoes that my friend Deb gave to me!!! Don't worry I work very hard too and would NOT do that!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

What would Amy do?


Well I guess everyone knows what I would do if I found out my partner owed $180,000 but I wonder what Amy would do if the tables were turned!

So I asked her last night. Here’s what she said:


Fuck it I'd say deal with it it's not my problem! JOKE...
I told Gareth that I would:

A) Make him my slave

B) Turn him into a male prostitute

C) Make him befriend a very old rich lady

D) Train him to steal

E) Make him get a night job (washing dished or delivering Chinese food)

F) Take care of him and help him with his debt...probably rent a cheap pad in Brooklyn and pay all the rent until he got his loans sorted...

Free Sex Toys!


We have just finished a project at work with KY. To help the team come up with ideas a ton of money was spent on sex toys and strange lubricants.

When the project was over everything was up for grabs.

But it is a bit weird taking a free sex toy home in front of your colleagues.

I waited until no-one was looking and then grabbed some stuff and shoved it into my bag.

I sat their pleased with my discretion. I was going to smuggle it out without any embarrassment. Or so I thought…

“Hey who has taken the blue thing?” asked Ara looking in the bag of freebies.

“What has someone taken it?”

“Who was it?”

“Yeah who was it.”

I tried to look innocent.

“I bet it was Gareth.”

Obviously I’m not very good at looking innocent.

“Have you got the blue thing?”

“Errrrr Yes,” said I

“Hey everyone, Gareth’s taking home that blue sex toy”

“Way to go Gareth.”

Someone who perhaps is perhaps more easily embarrassed then me might have died right there on the spot.

I ran home (picking up some batteries on the way).


little did Gareth know it was for a dog...so Teddy is now very satisfied ;)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Big plans


When you are trying hard not to spend money you end up with a lot of time on your hands - time that you would usually spend in bars, at concerts, shopping.

We are making the most of all this free time and have compiled a list of things we want to achieve alone and together by the end of 2008.

Here it is…


Finish a first draft of my book “The Obnoxious King” and recorded a chapter of it as a radio play

Cycled and swam as much as I can

Hit 200lbs

Written up 5 money making ideas into one page proposals

Made something

Written 20 minutes of stand-up material


Finish her latest video installation

Built 3 new sculptures

Come up with an idea for a documentary that can be made in 2009

Become a patch-free non-smoker

Started some sort of stress relieving exercise

Come up with a new video concept to work on after ‘The Dead’


Finished our book on street signs – it’s looking pretty dope at the moment

Planned a great (but cheap) trip to Costa Rica on the back of my work trip there

Written at least one kids book together – the hero is a little girl called Abby Normal and is based on Amy

Designed some t-shirts and our imaginary band logo.

Got ONB down to $60,000 – with Amy’s bonus and our tax back money this will drop to a rather tiny $30,000 at the start of next year

Found somewhere to live for our post ONB life

Looks like we have a busy 4 months ahead of us. Bring it on.

Friday, September 5, 2008

"Match.com would be a bad idea"


I'm reading a good book of random conversation overheard in NYC.
It's based on this website.
This posting made me laugh!

Guy on cell: I'm 35. What? That's too old for you? Age ain't nothing but a number, baby. And, I work sometimes too. And I don't smoke. Well, I smoke, but I don't smoke smoke, ya know. And, I've only been in jail once, but that was a long time ago and I've learned. I even read now.

Girl nearby to friend: See, I told you signing up for match.com would be a bad idea. You can never tell who'll answer your ads.





We were way ahead of the curve ;)

The Amy Globus Fanclub Sings!


After only knowing Amy for 4 days i brought her a tciket to England to come and spend Xmas with my family.

During the trip it was funny seeing our xmas traditions through a strangers eyes. Things i thought were once normal all appeared a bit odd - my sister bashing us on the head with a star on a stick and telling us to make a wish, the concept of a day dedicated to boxes on the 26th and the British public's love with Aled Jones.

Every shop we went into was playing "Walking In The Air" that classic Xmas song. I had assumed it was a worldwide hit with people swaying along to it all over the world. I was wrong. I don't think it even made it across the Channel let alone the Atlantic. Amy had never heard of it before so as soon as she left i convinced everyone in my family to make this video! Enjoy.

Thursday, September 4, 2008



Bank Targets Gay Londoners
Nearly one in nine employees in London's banking, finance and insurance sector is gay, according to an article in the Telegraph, and such consumers typically enjoy significantly higher salaries than their heterosexual counterparts. Little wonder, then, that one of London's major banks has implemented a new banking service targeted specifically at the city's homosexuals.

Just launched this summer, Credit Suisse's new service is provided by advisors at the bank who are themselves openly gay, the Telegraph reported, and includes not just traditional banking offerings but also components tailored to such events as adoption and civil partnership and LOWER FEES. Stephen Connolly, head of the Credit Suisse service, explains: “Clients with us have no need to explain their lifestyles or—as we know happens in some cases—almost feel the need to justify the way they choose to live their lives.”

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

(Air) bed sharing for a fee


Roomorama aims to provide a quick and easy way to arrange short-term stays by matching hosts who have space to share with travellers planning a visit to their city. Potential hosts begin by listing the details of the room they have, including when it's available and the per-night price they'd like to be paid. Listing is free, and Roomorama's search filters and "shoutout" system ensure that hosts see only relevant results. Guests, meanwhile, can either search through the listed accommodations or create a shoutout ad specifying what they're hoping to find. Once they find something they like, they pay Roomorama via Paypal for their stay, along with an 8 percent transaction fee. In exchange, they get a payment code to be used upon checkin. Only when they've checked in and approved the accommodations does the guest give that payment code to the host, thereby releasing the transfer of the funds to the host via check or Paypal. User profiles, feedback history and post-stay reviews on the site create a transparent environment for both hosts and guests.

Indeed, it's beginning to look like transparency, financial motivation and Paypal-level security might be just what was needed to make bed-sharing a mainstream alternative to expensive hotels. One to partner with in high-rent cities around the world....? (Related: Soccer fans to share beds at Euro 2008.)

Air bed and breakfast
Wow - on the dates that Gareth and I are both away we could post our room! Not sure my mother would go for it but extra cash here we come!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008



I've done some new sums and they are daunting - there seem to be too many f***ing numbers - 8 in all.

By September 15th we will owe: $98,984.74

Backwards it's only $47,489.98

Maybe I can convince the Government that their records are ass backwards!!

And maybe not...

Love is...


... letting someone have all your bank account information so they can take the money straight from your account as soon as it is paid in.


Yep, I set Gareth up on electronic payment - eeek - it's just sooo much easier then running to the bank all the time :)

I think it freaked him out a little, but DON'T worry I'm trustworthy, kinda ;)

Monday, September 1, 2008

More Pretty Pictures


Here's the woman who i sold the burning man tickets to! She was very happy! It finished yesterday so i hope she had fun. Roll on next year. Nothing is going to stop me and Amy going to BM 09 x

Pretty Pictures


I finally got the pictures off my camera. Loads of memories so i though i'd share them with you.

Ladies and gentlemen it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you the limeade stand!


...and Stinky, aka, belly button, aka Isabel my niece!

Handsome Stud in Stolen Sneaks

I did a shoot last week with a pair of sneakers and some wild red shoe laces. My boss wanted to keep the sneakers when I jumped in and said, "No they're for Gareth!" So grabbed them and took them home. I think they are foxy, I'm not sure if they are Gareth's style but they were FREE!

This morning he jumped up and ran out to give his very first lecture in Canada in his new sneaks and stylish, but cheap, black Uniqlo duds. He looked great and he will knock 'em dead!

Love is hard


No not in that way! Stop sniggering.

I mean hard as in tricky.

We bash up against one another.
We rub one another up the wrong way.
We pick fights.
We don't let things go.

Actually when i say 'we' i mean 'i'.

This is the hardest thing i've ever done and - to be honest - i'm not very good at it.