£5 A SECOND

GARETH SAYS…

I just read that JK Rowling makes £5 every second! She made $300 million dollars last year. There is gold in them there children’s books.

I have been playing around with a few kid book ideas myself. It’s been great fun and hasn’t cost a cent. I don’t think I’ve got a Harry Potter just yet, just a few weird poems that may or may not be suitable for kids. See what you think…


There once was a girl who tasted too good

Her ear wax was cheesy and her arms chocolate pud

Her fingers were fishy and her legs were like chicken

For a walking pantry was she often mistaken

When you taste so good you have to beware

Of hungry villagers waving forks in the air

A large group had gathered one night, quite late

Each with a fork and a large dinner plate

“Get off, get off. Get out of my way.”

“Please step aside – I am not a buffet”

“She smells delicious – she smells divine”

“She’s going to taste lovely washed down with some wine.”

“I’ve salt”, “I’ve pepper” and “I’ve got steak sauce.”

“We’ll start at her toes and work up course by course”

First toes, then feet, then ankle, then leg

Twas the most succulent banquet they’d ever been fed

“Stop stop, please really - you really must stop.”

“Please leave me one leg so at least I can hop.”

But would they listen? Would they heck.

They went on feasting right up to her neck.

Her legs, her arms, her stomach – all gone.

Didn’t they know eating young girls was quite wrong?

“Enough. Enough. Let’s call it a day!”

“Just leave me my head, turn around - walk away.”

“But the head’s the best bit – we’ve saved it to last.”

And with that they dived in and gobbled it fast.

The hair cotton candy and a nose made of toffee

“Burp” said a villager. “Anyone fancy coffee?”