Wednesday, June 4, 2008

FREEBEES explore continued


The Best Things in Life are free: the following list is a random assortment of quotes plucked from Google and my attempt to truly understand what is and is NOT FREE! (FREE in the purest sense that is ;)

Falling in love – Ok LOVE category established! (Hmm - It cost me $40 to find my love ;)

Laughing so hard your face hurts – yes ok (Bodily functions established - they are all free!)

A hot shower - who pays for the shower? And the hot water?

No lines at the Super Wal-Mart – this is just stupid

A special glance – yes but it depends what the glance is for ;)

Getting mail - What this is not free at all – Stamp price, mail box price, computer price etc!

Taking a drive on a pretty road – er what about the car?

Hearing your favorite song on the radio – uh whose radio?

Lying in bed listening to the rain outside - whose bed? How bout just listening to the rain – I’d put it in bodily functions I think – auditory.

Hot towels out of the dryer – er whose dryer and do the towels smell of fabric softener or what?

Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price- duh - finding a sweater in the trash would be more like it!

Chocolate milkshake - NOT FREE – in whose world is this free?

A long distance phone call – this is just dumb!

A bubble bath -–maybe if you stole the bubbles from somewhere and bathed in someone elses freaking tub

Giggling - yup free + fun – again with the bodily functions

A good conversation – uh huh – free - Friendship category

The beach - yeah I‘ll give it up for the ocean! This would fall in nature

Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter – now how is that free? It’s already your cash!!

Laughing at yourself
 - yeah that's good – bodily function

Making faces – (This I made up) bodily function again

Midnight phone calls that last for hours – NOT free

Running through sprinklers – er I think you pay for this with your tax money? The running is free and would go under Bodily Functions... The sprinklers are free if you’re unemployed, homeless or British living in America…so it may be truly free for some in which case it would fall under the nature category!

Laughing for absolutely no reason at all – isn’t that giggling? bodily function

Having someone tell you that you're beautiful – Ok this one is tricky - how much did it cost you to become beautiful? And if you are naturally beautiful – well then most things will come to you at no cost – yeah? I appreciate the sentiment though ;)

Laughing at an inside joke
 - AGAIN with the laughing – can’t we just say that ALL bodily functions – whether fun or not are FREE?

Friends – yes

Falling in love for the first time – yeah at age 12 – hopefully your parents are still picking up the tab at that point! Love category - PS why is it always the "First Time" does that imply that you pay for it every time after the "First" or anything that follows the first pales in comparison and no longer qualifies for the "Best" title?

Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you – ok we’ve established that compliments are free!

(Compliments, Bodily Functions, Friends, Nature and Love – if you’re young)

Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep – this is case by case sensitive, yes waking up is free but is it good? Only if you’re tired and in a bed/floor of your choice that was also free!

Your first kiss - again the 12 year old "First" thing!

Playing with a new puppy – ok Free – we’ll put this in nature - whatever gets people off!

Having someone play with your hair – ok yes, if they want to - otherwise you can also pay for that in Chinatown ;)

Sweet dreams – yup dreams are free – so are nightmares

Hot chocolate - How is this free?

Road trips with friends – What?!

Swinging on swings – yeah...this would fit in the Tax money/nature category

Watching a good movie cuddled up on a couch with someone you love – cable bill, netflix bill + TV???

Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking eggnog – all of the above cost cost cost!

Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid – this is nice but not free!

Getting butterflies in your stomach every time you see that one person – this falls into the love category!

Making eye contact with a cute stranger – yeah this is nice and FREE

Winning a really competitive game – whose game console? Whose board?

Making chocolate chip cookies – cooking is NOT FREE – it can be cheap but definitely NOT free.

Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends - ok friends + laughter category - let’s just say that any FREE category can be combined in anyway and it is still free!

Holding hands with someone you care about – One of my favorite frees – falls into love/friendship

Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change – nice insight

Discovering that love is unconditional and stronger than time (Love category)

Riding the best roller coasters over and over – uh yeah roller coasters cost cash – I’d like to see anyone queuing up for the cyclone with no money!

Hugging the person you love – nice … in the love category

Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you – didn’t that present cost you money? – this is an exception ONLY if you made the present or plucked it!

Watching the sunrise – nice – fits into nature!

Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God for another beautiful day- hey wait GOD is FREEEEE – now that’s one I haven’t thought of! I will ad that to my short list – hmm...I’m an atheist – I guess that doesn’t change the fact that GOD is fucking FREE!

Having friends you know you can cry on or talk to about your deepest problems – obviously problems that came from all of our “FREE” Categories – LOVE, RELIGION, FRIENDS, NATURE, BODILY FUNCTIONS…so that SHOULD be FUCKING FREE for Gods SAKE!

In conclusion I would say that anything you do with any part of your body (that does not involve a professional) AND God are FREE ;)

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