Forever and Ever and Ever

AMY SAYS...

The night before last I walked into a bedroom housing one massive blue silk water bed. I looked around a bit and said to the three fleshy bodies under the covers:

"Don't you think it's a little strange that you're all in bed together NAKED?"

They stopped chatting instantly, crooked their heads and looked at me blankly:

"No, we're all having a great time...come and join us." They echoed in unison.

I was confused at the nonchalant and oh so creepy response. But I proceeded with my argument:

"But, but you're all, well, NAKED."

"Why don't you come and join us Amy, forever and ever and ever."

"But you're my my mother, uh and my sister and, and, uh and my boyfriend, Gareth is that you?"

I was completely bewildered, but I took off my French military gear and got into bed. I inched the blanket up and over until it covered half my face.

After a minute or two I said "Oh I can't do this" and got out of bed.

I dressed awkwardly, flung my very dated red canvas bag on my back caddy corner and opened the green door. I was in Beetlejuice territory -- I looked out and there was nowhere to go except an endless sand dune and a man in a black and white striped suit screaming "You wanna play a game?" to the music from Wheel of Fortune. I slammed the door and looked back at the giant water bed, it was leaking intensely, the water was splashing up against the corners of the room; while playing in the background was a subdued soundtrack of women shrieking with hollow laughter, growing louder and louder until it hit a final crescendo.

(NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT fall asleep watching the Shinning ever again!)

Later that day, I thought about my nightmare and booked a date with Gareth OUTSIDE of the OPERATION and all of it's inhabitants - sometimes you need to take a step back, or in my case away from mom, and just be without an operation.